I've screwed up everything.. This time there's no turning back already... You're the everything I have left with.. I screwed it up.. More and more promises not made.. Listen to what you says.. Listen to all your angry words.. Keep them within myself.. Know what you wants.. But yet.. I still do what you hate..

No sleep is not important to me.. and no work is not important to me.. Yes they seem to be important to me as my action prove them well enough and not what I said.. Every time you said something I will have something to say.. They all become an excuse... I'm really glad to have you as my dear.. You have been so understanding but yet I'm still so immature...

I had inflict too much pain in you already... Keep falling asleep when I don't.. Even though I've been tried many ways to keep myself to be awake.. Keep slapping my face.. Keep using hot water to wash my face.. Keep eating whatever I can find since to be the only way to keep myself awake... But eventually, all these doesn't count because it only happens during weekends and not weekday nights.. Which mean out of 7 days.. I might be doing it for only 1 night.. HAA! HOW PATHETIC I AM!

After work should be the quality time to spend with you.. I actually spent them on sleep! How Fuck up can I get?! Fear that you will get angry with me yet I always ended up sleeping.. KAO! Can't understand why I'm like this! It's not that I don't care about you nor our relationship.. I can say I don't understand myself.. Which I don't think this is important ba..

I don't understand why everyone is telling me that I'm accommodating to you too much.. I don't know why.. I'm just correcting my way of doing things in order not to do what you hate... Listen to what you say and slowly changing myself.. As for work.. Karoline is right.. I have to work hard so that I can support us.. For the rental.. For everything.. But she didn't know that you're also working hard to help me with the money ba.. She seems to hear more of our arguments ba..

It was you who used to be clinging to me.. It seems now I'm the one who is clinging on to you and causing you more pain than before... Somehow, the 3 words "I love you" have already become something you can ignore when I said that already.. Since when.. I've no idea.. Yeah man.. I've no idea to so many things.. All the things you said to me, all the question you asked me.. I can only say "I don't know".. "I don't know what to say"..

Everything you say are right.. Spot on.. Even though they might not be what I want.. But I still did it.. To do it.. Or not to do it.. It should all be in my mindset ba.. I really have nothing to say ler.. I'm the one at fault, so, do whatever you want.. One thing good about you is you're always so clear minded in things.. So firm with every decision you made and you always make it happen.. Regardless of what it is.. I'm glad that I didn't change you at all.. =) Glad that you're still the same old you..

If it will be better for you if I give it up.. I will do it then.. I will not waver your decision again so that I won't hurt you again in the future.. There's no more future already I presume.. Everyone you broke up with, there will be no contact or minimum contact that you'll make.. You will also try your very best to avoid them.. So.. That will be my case too ba? Tsk..

I love you dear.. I love you more than anything.. I really don't know what I can do... This is not the answer you want ba..