歌曲：谢谢你让我爱过你 
歌手：s.h.e 专辑：不想长大 

感觉天气冷了  

就加件毛衣  

而不是急着躲进  

某个人的怀里  

这么简单的常识  

我竟然忘记  

直到你离去  

才恢复记忆  

还可以呼吸  

心跳也还规律  

只除了寂寞  

它还不肯马上就平息  

相恋和失恋  

如果说都需要练习  

一次学会两种也算好事情  

谢谢你教会我爱需要两颗心  

谢谢你示范了什么人该放弃  

谢谢你提醒我痛会唤醒勇气  

谢谢你曾让我这样的  

爱过你  

只要睁开眼睛  

就有好风景  

再不用苦苦等你  

偶尔的好心情  

这种简单的快乐  

比玫瑰美丽  

我相信伤心  

会慢慢痊愈  

还可以呼吸 

心跳也还规律  

只除了寂寞 

它还不肯马上就平息  

相恋和失恋  

如果说都需要练习  

一次学会两种也算好事情  

谢谢你教会我爱需要两颗心  

谢谢你示范了什么人该放弃  

谢谢你提醒我痛会唤醒勇气  

谢谢你曾让我这样的  

爱过你 

I'm a good for nothing person.. I'm a liar.. A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME IS THE BEST! :)

One who always can't do things well for her gf.. Always do things that her gf dislike.. Should leave her gf early so that she wouldn't get hurt for too long.. :)

I'm always lying to you or if not, keep things from you and not telling you even though I said I didn't lie to you at all.. :) Thus, I'm a big fat LIAR!

Say will answer phone when in meeting/discussion and talk to you/listen to you but in the end, also didn't able to do it.. And now, I didn't tell you the truth about that id...

hehe.. friday went to Kbox with deardear.. At first wanted to watch Harry Potter de.. But all 12+am must wait so long.. In the end, we went to sing.. We sang till 3+am.. Reach home around 4am..

^^ Dear was always so objective about going to sing nor.. At last can get deardear to sing with me in K already.. ^^

Had so many big quarrels with deardear just within the week.. Can see I really sucks at relationships already na.. Sigh.. Don't know why I feel like I'm really meant for relationships.. Maybe cause my relationships always ended up bad?

Friday during that quarrel.. I went to the places that we have been to together the last time.. So many memories.. But most of them are unhappy memories..

I can never do anything right.. Always ended up causing bigger problems.. I think I should not burden anyone already ba.. It seems that whatever I do.. Noone seems to know what I'm doing.. Maybe I also don't know what I'm doing ba.. That's why what I did never did go according to "my plan"..

Maybe it will be better for me to go back to my loner life.. Where I'm just be with myself.. No interaction would be needed.. No need to worry anyone.. Nor they have to care about what I will do to cause them trouble nor they have to know actually what the hell am I thinking or doing..

I already don't know what am I doing.. Totally really don't know what am I doing at work.. Everytime had to do the same thing over and over again.. I'm always thinking about you at work..

Our r/s has become more and more on the brim of falling apart day by day.. Yet I still can't change myself.. Don't know why I'm always behaving like a small kid in front of you.. Maybe I feel that it will be weird to have 2 strong person together in a r/s ba? I'm always think of weird and unnecessary stuff.. Which also cause our r/s to get worsen..

I'm always doing stuff that I thought I could surprise u or make u happy.. But, nothing I do actually cheer you up.. Because you don't need them.. Sometimes I really wonder am I really fighting for this r/s like u said.. Cause sometimes I feel like I did something.. But yet I feel like I didn't did anything at all..

I don't want to let you go.. But.. I feels that I have hold too tightly to you already.. So tight that you might leave me anytime.. Just like when you're flying a kite.. If you hold on too tight.. The string will break.. But if you let go too loose.. The kite will fly further away from you.. R/s is just like flying a kite I think.. But I don't know how to fly a kite.. XD

Some random post.. Don't know what I'm actually blogging also.. HAHA! @_@ Today is a crazy day for me~ XD Slept at almost 6am.. Then woke up at 7am.. Don't know what was I doing either.. HAHA! I'm just a crazy right now.. Anyway, yesterday was a bad day to be our anniversary.. I'm always giving the worse anniversary persents.. Just like the previous 2 months.. ;) I am nothing but a dirt.. You deserve someone better than me.. Maybe someone like FL can treat you better I am.. CRAZY FELLOW I AM~! YEAH~!!! IGNORE ME PLEASE!!! I'M GOING CRAZY~~ XD

YOOHOO FRIENDS.. TRY NOT TO GET ME OUT ON WEEKENDS.. I HAVE NO INTENTION OF LEAVING MY HOUSE.. I'M PLAIN LAZY TO TRAVEL.. YES.. I'M MAD ALREADY.. XD MAYBE YOU ALL CAN JUST TREAT IT LIKE U ALL DON'T KNOW ME.. XD JUST LET ME BE.. Oops.. I FORGOT.. NOBODY COMES TO MY BLOG DE.. XD

I'm nothing more than a mere liar.. Everything I does and says always contradict each other.. Honesty and trust are they still with us?

Every night.. Everyday.. I asked the same old questions.. Do the same old things.. Even when you're sick, I could only bug you with more questions and thus, annoying you with my behaviour.. I don't know whether did I make any improvements already anot..

There is only like 7 more weeks to 05 Aug 2009.. The confirmation judgement date for our r/s if in the end.. I still didn't make it through.. :) Hopefully.. Things will work out for me..

Friday

I worked extra 15 mins.. Went to buy dinner.. Lots of people in queue for ATM.. Only one worker there in Subway.. Should have went to CP to buy instead of buying it at Clarke Quay... How dumb am I?

All these while.. These 8 months.. I'm the one who is jeopardising this r/s.. All the promises.. I couldn't keep them.. The one and only thing I really did was move out from my family.. This is the only small thing I did for you..

Like what you said.. My actions doesn't match my claimings of my love to you.. You don't want all my hardwork money.. Fine.. I know that we're going to break up soon.. And never did I expect that the 15 mins is all that I need.. :)

I've no confidence in myself that I will be able to keep you by my side for long.. It's not that I don't want to fight for this r/s.. I don't want to keep giving you empty promises and eventually go through the whole thing again..

Well.. You ask me to give you a reason to stay.. The only reason I have for you is I love you.. And I know this reason is the dumbest reason of all because all these while I have been showing nothing of sort.. :)

Saturday

Sent you back to JB.. Nothing much happen.. Went in and came out shortly.. Then rushed home to meet you before you go for your piano.. Played with you some rounds of games before you went for piano.. Thinking that you would let me know when you go over to gram like last time.. But maybe not anymore..

After you came back.. Yes I know you want us to shua.. And I should have told them that we want to shua now.. Instead of making you wait like an idiot for so long in game.. I wouldn't even expect you to have told me to "fuck off" from your life because of the game..

You told me to tell you everything truthfully and I did.. When I finished, I realised that you had already fell asleep and it's already 330am.. So might as well let you sleep.. Went back to game and shua with ric till about 5/530am.. :)

Sunday

As I mentioned didn't sleep much.. You woke me up.. :) Thanks for not angry with me anymore.. But I will not forget what happen.. :) Chat abit with you.. Played some games.. Till problems came in game.. =.="

So decided that everyone will just rest for the time being till later when you're home.. For me, I went back to sleep.. :) Then woke up again.. :) Played more games.. Then went to lie down at around 840pm.. Hoping that you really be home by 9pm and you would want to shua together as Yuki only just logged in for the whole of today..

When you said bo mood/no mood.. Noone really dare to talk to you.. That's why Yuki keep start game that fast.. And I'm dumb enough to think that you wouldn't have want to talk to me about it.. But anyway.. After that you did.. So anyway.. :) Maybe you still haven't forgive me ba.. :) And I know why you can't trust me anymore.. :)

But do note that.. The 2 month promise is still valid.. :) And that I still love you very much.. :)

Sunday

Had a big argument with you.. And had an agreement with you.. During the probation period of my work.. These time will also be my time to prove to you I'm doing my best for the changes..

Monday

Well.. You came in late to Singapore.. Went to SP.. Then came to meet me.. I'm so happy that I could actually leave about on time.. But was disappointed with myself that I took a nap when I'm home which I should be accompanying you...

Tuesday

Well.. You stayed home.. SP persons suppose to come and check on the meter.. But eventually said nothing wrong.. You called and arrange again.. I came home from work rushing home to see you but in the end, I missed because I didn't hear my phone on the message you sent.. After dinner and everything.. Once again.. I took a nap when I'm home.. Sigh...

Wednesday

You had to go back to your aunt place today.. Because of tomorrow stuff.. I'm fine with it.. Apologise that I keep calling when you're in your aunt place.. Today.. We sleep abit earlier.. We sleep around 3+am.. Sigh.. But I did took a nap when I'm home before we actually go to bed..

Thursday

You were suppose to go sentosa with PeiLing which you longed to go for quite a long time but didn't... You met up with her and suppose to meet me at 530pm... But I'm always such a disappointment.. I suppose that I didn't change much ba... At night, met up with you all for dinner.. Yeah, I was tired.. But I'm still fine with walking through the night.. It's fine and it's my first time doing so.. =D

Friday

Yeah.. I'm posting this before I go to work... Thinking that I'm not doing much thing about our relationship.. Thinking that I'm actually making the clock tick faster to the 2 months I'm left with.. Sigh.. I shall go for work already.. I love you my dear Laopo..

Seeing people scold you in game, doesn't make me feel any happy especially when kena gang scolding.. I know I'm not of a great help.. I just want to help some sort of way.. But I guess in the end.. I just couldn't do anything right ba.. :)

Seeing you getting scolding when you're not in game, even when they start calling u names.. Even so.. Getting scolded by them.. You got played by them in the end.. I'm not suppose to get piss? Yeah.. My tones are very harsh towards you, I know.. I just don't want you to waste so much time just scolding these stupid people?

I just don't like people scolding you names.. To you, scolding in games maybe like a meal already.. TO me, having you being scold in game, piss me off which don't only make me scold in game.. But also really pissed me off in RL..

I shouldn't have chase you to on one id.. I shouldn't have ask you to FL id which you will have problem in game.. So much things happen in just one night..

Cherish your other half.. Treasure them.. Don't regret it only after they are gone.. These were the words people who broke up will advise couples to do.. :) Well.. Obviously.. If I'm not wrong, I'm doing the opposite ba.. Oh well.. :) Maybe this job in the this company really has a curse on people relationship.. :)

What will be our next step? What more problems will we face? What should I do to really change myself? Obviously my means are not working anymore.. I have to start looking for solutions again.. :) You will just have to do nothing about yourself as I'm the one with the problems and troubles..

Seeing people break up so easily.. I'm beginning to wonder how come some people can let go so fast.. Don't they feel anything about the break ups? If yes, how did they handle them? I wonder.. I am a very fucked up person when it comes to relationship.. 

Don't know why but I will become very whiney towards you, even knowing doing so will piss you off.. Maybe I'm retarded ba.. Or maybe I stil just a coward ba.. Had been like this since young.. It must be in genes for being so stupid and acting so fucked up.. :)

Seeingyougettingdiuingameisjustnotafunthingtodo.

This week is quite ok.. Everything was fine after Monday.. Monday suck to the core.. I couldn't wake up.. Then in the end work till 8 plus.. which then my boss held me back for like 15mins?

The rest of the week goes to work as usual.. Nothing much except Thurs.. Our 8 month.. Dear lied to me about not hungry and cooked dinner for us.. ^^ Dear had gave and done so many things for me.. But I didn't give or done anything for you dear.. The only thing I've done or gave is to make you angry..

Why can't I CHANGE MYSELF?! Why do I always have to wait till you get angry? Why didn't I sit down and think about all these problems and solutions myself? Why didn't I think of Long term solutions?

These are the problems that I'm having problem with myself:

- Gaming

Don't download/read on any other games

- Sleepiness

Change my biological clock by going to bed at 3:30am - 4am every night

- Work OT

Avoid doing so

- Never really pay attention to what you want

Spend more time with you

- Sing along with SDO songs

Avoid doing so

- Financial

Stop spending so much on unnecessary stuff or eat expensive meals

This is going to be our 8th month together.. But apparently I still don't understand you very well.. Looking at the quiz result that I've done on facebook.. 

Even though knowing sa jiao won't work on you.. I still do.. How I wish that sometimes you can sa jiao on me.. Being with you makes me so happy that I often forget about many things.. The stress at work and stuff..

Maybe like what you said last friday, "Maybe I'm just a habit of yours, want to change then change.. You can still live without me.." To you, I might be replace easily or forget easily ba.. This whole week sucks.. No other weeks can get worse than this..

I'm so glad to hear that you have your week off from school.. I'm alright with you staying at home but having you to stay at home alone.. T_T I want to spend all my time with you.. But I feel this week is a damn short week..

We spend more time on games/online than real life.. Now I know why people will say gamers will never get together for long.. Everytime we don't goes online/gaming, if you notice we will get into arguments and I will always be the one who upset you.. 

I always try to give you whatever you want.. Yeah.. It's my fault for getting you all pumped up about able to get the wings online which turns out to be unable due to my fault for closing that account..

Nothing beats hugging you in my arms.. And I know that you will never be able to trust me ever again.. :) Everytime you ask me to think of what I really wants.. Do you think of what you really wants?

I seriously thinks that I'm causing you more anger compare to love.. I should let you go, let you be free, let you do whatever you like, whatever you want.. Nobody is there to restrict you.. Nobody to fight with you on decision you made.. Everything will be good for you..

I've been thinking about what you said yesterday.. You're right about me.. I didn't really pay attention to what you want/need.. I just do everything base on my assumptions and think of nothing.. Not even you..

Spending the 20 bucks just on modification of PSP without even thinking of anything nonetheless, asking for your opinions/comments.. Leaving you really came to my thought at the time I saw you safe and sound.. I was really thinking of leaving you when I handed over your wallet to you..

I know you're really sick and tired of hearing the same old things over and over again.. I won't repeat them again.. I just want you to know.. I love you very much dear.. So much so that I just want to be with you all the time.. Every morning I had to fight the desire to lie in the bed with you to go to work..

Hoping everything would be fine later on.. Everyday was a disappointment.. As I ruined every single day with myself not able to project my voice enough for you to hear me.. For being engage with other people stuff/responsibility.. I just want to end the day quickly so that I can come home to you as soon as possible..

Darling I really love you very much.. Somehow I really don't know what will our future be like.. But I will do my best to make everything the best.. ^^ I love you my darling..

We're from 2 different world that had come together 8 months ago.. I'm sorry for making you feel this way.. The insecure and you being paranoid on stuff.. I'm not a very good lover.. You don't have to feel inferior to my ex.. She's like you.. I'm the one whom always got scolded by her..

The only thing she helped me with was my studies.. The rest I'm just a burden to her, just like what I'm feeling recently.. I'm just a burden to you.. You may say you don't feel that way but I somehow feels that I'm burdening you.. Maybe cause I'm causing you not being able to go forward for your dreams..

You mentioned that there are moments when you don't know whether we are really meant for each other.. The thoughts went through my mind everytime.. Everytime thinking that they will be someone better out there for you.. Like FL who is so in love with you...

Talking about the past.. Yes they were my happy memories.. I'm happy talking about them.. Do you think I don't feel the same way as you do when you and your friends talked about them? I'm not trying to restrict you from talking about them or saying that we can't talk about the past.. I was just trying to share some of my past with you.. Letting you know what my past was like..

I've been trying my very best to get you laugh or smile without worries for these past 6-7 months.. But however, this seems to only work when you're with your besties.. :) Which is why I used to ask you to go out with them more often.. :) I like the carefree side of you.. Not having to worry about me all the time..

I do know that you don't meant to flare up on me.. Cause you are too worry about me and yet I showed that it doesn't concern me.. Everytime you flare up at me.. I'm like "oh my.. I did it again.. Even though I knows that you're be worry sick and in the end angry with me.. Yet I did it again.." The feeling sucks.. Having to go through the same arguments over and over again.. Always can't express the wrong things is my fault..

Of course I know you cares.. It's just your care and my care and concern are just different way of showing ba? Mine is to care and concern in some manners that you might think I'm just doing something very irritating to you, very stupid, very bo liao.. But that's me.. I like to care in a more quiet manner..

Do you notice that I've not really get angry with you? I don't know whether you know or don't know it.. It's not like I don't want to.. But I know if I do.. Eventually, I'll end up regretting it.. :) Cause if you're damn angry/piss.. And if I do flare back.. Do you even know what you will say in your spur of moment? In the very end, I'll be the one who regret doing so.. :)

Dear.. I love you very much.. The road for us are still very long.. I just hope we can just mention everything between us to each other.. Don't hide anything from each other.. :) We had really go through lots of things already.. There shouldn't be anything yet.. Till your side start to action.. So.. Let's walk through the rest of the time together ok? I'll be there to walk through them with you.. :) I love you dear..

Today is a disaster day. 

First thing is you can't come back. 

Second, i've got 7 journal need to pass... 

Third, bloody fucker not coming in today...

Fourth, there are bloody names without IO or CRG..

Fifth, after i'm done with the journals at around 7pm then I was only told that each journal can only have up to 999 lines?!

Sixth, trying very hard to finish everything so that I can come home early to pei you.. which in turns to be the opposite.. Cause I ended up making more and more mistakes.. which eventually makes Iza let me goes off.. 

Seventh, piss you off cause I come home late, make you stayed up and wake for me..

Been crying once I've stepped into the cab till now.. Thinking that everytime I piss you.. What happens.. Being all stress up by myself cause of my stupidness.. Yeah.. What u say is right.. Why everyone can just don't care about anything at work when they are on leave? Why I can't?

It's my fault for not asking details for the stuff I'm doing for the first time.. It's my fault for not asking for help earlier till someone is not there for help.. It's my fault for fearing people will scold me..

*u got every right to not see me.. not listening to me.. or even want to break up with me..

*cause i'm always the one who piss u..

*who makes u worried..

*who making u do stuff that u dun like..

*who duno how to treasure u..

*who duno how to treasure this relationship

I love you so much dear.. I don't even want you to leave me.. Our relationship have been very wobbly.. Because of me.. I'm sorry for making u feel suffer so much with me.. Having you to worry about me even though i'm turning 21.. Every week I've only so little time to spend with you.. And yet I keep wasting the time on my work.. Making you angry.. I just want to make you happy.. I just want to stay by your side..

Having arguments everyday looks like our daily meals now.. Haseo said something interesting to me just now.. He said..

"Last time don't you two together.. You two want to die.."

"Now everyday together.. Then you two keep arguing.."

Interesting eh? Maybe not to you.. But to me, yes..

Don't know why I keep having this thinking that I'm just an extra here.. Not knowing whatever I do will please you anot.. Not knowing what I did actually make you angry except those which I often does.. Seeing you remove the ring everytime we quarrel.. Makes me think maybe I'm not that important anymore cause eventually I'm the extra burden to you.. I'm always causing you trouble.. Adding to your worries.. 

Sometimes I really hope that I can just disappear and see what's everyone reaction about it.. And I often thinks that nobody will actually notice me.. I'm just a nobody.. Just a busybody whom don't even know how to manage her love life even though her love life is at the cliff edge already.. Yet she will do stupid things to worsen the situation..

Don't know why am I always end up hurting you.. Let's just hope that our next 3 days together will be peaceful and happy.. I'm a mad person.. Pls ignore this post... ^^

Thursday

Had a big quarrel with my dear due to our mobile phone bills. True, my pay is not able to support us both. I'm real sorry for being such a idiot to say I don't want to use your money, make you so angry. In the end, I don't know why deardear not angry with me already. I'm really a stupid idiot.

Friday

Nothing much. Just that kena scold by boss for saying "No sense of responsibility"? damn sian noh. She expect me to do so many things. Sigh. Whatever. Because of this, I'm home late which then cause my dear to be angry with me.

Then went to cut my hair at Hougang. Then went to Hougang point for dinner. Went to Fairprice to buy grocery. After that, went back home. Slept at almost 5am. Cause dear and I was watching show. By right, we should sleep early cause dear "daddy" is coming to fetch us into jb the next day. ^^ Free ride in. Help us save money.

Saturday

Woke up at almost 12pm. Wake dear up cause by right suppose to meet up with Rick at 1230pm but I think cause we're not ready, he went to pick up Zinette first. =X Have to wait for 2 days before I can get to see dear again.

Ate at shilin in JB, after eating I should have gone back to singapore straight. But instead I accompanied my dear which appears to be only causing her not to be able to get her laptop today. =( I didn't meant for that to happen. Then we saw Edmund and his gf. He really everytime go Malaysia seh. -.-"

Sigh. Why am I always able to piss you in game or real life so easily? I really think I'm a useless person. In terms of everything. I love you dear. I really do.

I'm really damn useless.. Other than making you mad.. I don't seem to be making you much more happier.. Seeing you joke and laugh with your friends, make me seem real small, tiny.. It's not because I'm jealous..

It's just that I can never really seems to make you that happy, make you laugh like that.. We used to laugh like that.. When we first met.. We had great laughs.. I really don't want to be your burden.. Maybe I'm just not that type of person that I think myself would be..

Thought I could support our lives living out without wanting you to really fork out much money.. I just want you to enjoy spending our time together.. Irregardless of whatever will happen in the next 2 years.. Who knows.. Maybe one of us will turn straight..

I would think that you will be a much happier person than you are now when you're back to straight.. Like your previous blogs.. I can see how much you love your exs.. And how happy you were when you were mentioning them on your blog.. How much you miss him.. And so on.. Maybe I'm just plain jealous ba? I don't know..

But you're the definitely my most important person in my life.. The person whom I love so much.. Whom I will never ever let you go if I could.. I want to spend my rest of my life with you.. Go overseas together.. Go shopping together.. Cook together.. They will be the wonderful memories..

I'm bored~~~ Keep helping ppl get their mobile phone bill from the stupid eBA system.. And AP is having so many ppl on leave right now.. -.-"

I will be having lunch alone later.. Deardear was so tired noh.. Sigh.. Can't blame her.. I miss her neh~ Hope she won't miss her lesson later.. Cause after she called me to ask me go for lunch alone.. She went back to sleep..

How I wish I can do something for you dear.. You've been so tired recently... How come?

I'm really don't meant to piss you off this time.. I wouldn't have done that if I knew you will be angry about it later on..

It is so painful to not be able to hear you talk to me.. This is what I deserve most de ba? Since I've been the one whom been ignoring you all this while?

I'm beginning to doubt whether do I love you more than you does? I bet I don't ba? If not, I would have already know you will be angry with me already..

I said I wouldn't talk about work to you.. And yet I did.. Seeing you like this hurt me.. Obviously don't like yet have to listen to me.. Please shut me up the next time I start on this topic with you..

Laopo I love you very much.. Hope that our love will be everlasting.. =) To our love!

I'm always don't know what should I do when you're mad at me.. Keeping quiet, will make you angry.. But yet if ask something, it will always be nonsense question.. Which make you angrier..

Problems between us:
1 My sleepyhead problem
2 Speak too soft
3 Don't reply you when you're talking to me
4 I cried too much
5 I'm too softhearted
6 I don't listen to you
7 still got but I can't think of anymore now..

Solutions:
1 This week I think is quite alright already ba? Except some days? I need clarification from dear for this.
3 To prevent this from happening on the way accompanying you back to jb, it was resolved by you, making me stay at home.

Cool.. All the problems are caused by me.. I shall find a solution for 2,4,5,6 myself then.. Since I guess dear you will just say 习惯就好吧?

Got work tomorrow.. I've to go to back already.. See ya everyone.. ='S

I'm sorry for making you sick and tired of me.. I shouldn't have done it.. Yet I still did.. Sick and tired of my behaviour yet you have to tolerate all my stupid behaviours.. (:

Since you don't want me to accompany you back to jb... Then I shall not.. After listening to what you said today.. Make me realise something that I've not notice.. (:

Laopo~ Happy 7th Month wor.. Shagua~ I love you.. To be able to spend any moment with you couldn't be anymore happy already.. ^^

Nothing beats having you lie in my arms.. Hugging you to sleep.. Having to see your sleepy face.. ^^It really looks like we're a married couple already.. Being able to cook food with you, watch shows with you, watch movie together, to be able to do anything together is just happy for me.. 

Laopo I love you very much~ Muacks.. ^^

Hehe.. My result for She Bangs lvl 13 normal mode.. XD Didn't survived this song in normal mode before.. At last I survived.. So happy.. ^^ Lalala~

Hehe.. This is my deardear de "teletubbies hill".. Hehe.. ^^ Lalalaa~

Hehe... I'm gonna post alot of pictures ler.. Cookie mei don't close eyes hor.. LOL! =X

This is a picture of my deardear.. ^^

All the pictures below are taken on the way to JB on good friday... ^^

The picture was taken on bus 161.. This guy is damn irritating.. Keep trying to do "popping" dance while he's sitting down.. His cap is quoted with "SEX".. HAHA! Dear was like.. I have something to blog about already.. Haha!

Don't be sad

Laopo don't be sad already.. I know you didn't get what you want.. I really hope your dad could get you what you want.. He is being an idiot.. Letting your mum and his sisters stepped over him like this.. Mum can still understand abit na.. But sisters neh.. And you're HIS daughter not his SISTERS'..

Don't even know why he like to let his sisters can so much.. His own family is much important than his sisters noh.. This is how I feel na.. Though family is also important.. But still, you already have your own family, you should care more about how they feels and not the rest.. Laopo you feel this way too right? =X

Laopo I would ask you to think twice about moving out.. I know that's alot to handle when you're home.. But still, you still have your sis to care of.. Until you can really fang xin about your sis.. I will still rather you go back home.. Not because of your parents but for your dear sis sake.. I will always be here for you.. You know I care for you very much don't you? I'm sorry I sound so muffled on the phone..

I really wouldn't let you go back noh.. You're not happy everytime you go back.. And all because of your mum.. How I wish I can do something about it.. But I can't.. I'm so useless..

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday a public holiday... Spent half the day sleeping.. Cause yesterday Dear and I slept at 5+ 6am? Woke up at 1pm.. To find out that she actually have to go back to jb cause her mum wants her to..

Had our first meal of the day together before sending her back to jb.. Went into JB with her... After she went to meet up with her dad, I came home straight.. Took about 1 hour plus to reach home? No idea.. But I only know I reached home at 9pm.. @_@

Too bad can't stay there.. No money seh.. Too poor ler me.. Every month have to make dear worry about my financial.. Sigh.. I wonder what can I do for her.. Everytime want to get something for her in the end, didn't even gotten her anything..

老婆，我爱你。Thank you for forgiving me and my stupid problems.. I won't make any promises unless I know I can do them.. I'm really thankful that you're willing to come back with me on Monday.. What Karoline said was right.. We won't know what will happen in life.. To go on together or alone, depend on ourselves.. Everyone is born alone into this world.. And goes alone..

"Will you remain as Les? Or will you return back to Str?" I'm childish.. Yeah.. In some ways.. But what Karoline said is right.. There will always be suitor(s).. If there's someone better than me, just go for it.. I'm sure if that person really love you.. He will be better than me definitely..

I would rather you go for someone whom love you more than I do so that you won't have to suffer with me.. It really hurts to see you suffer so much because of me.. How I wish I had a place to stay at jb... Then I can stay there during the weekends.. Think I shall stop here ba.. XD Anyway, I've imported the posts of all my previous blogs over.. XD

I've screwed up everything.. This time there's no turning back already... You're the everything I have left with.. I screwed it up.. More and more promises not made.. Listen to what you says.. Listen to all your angry words.. Keep them within myself.. Know what you wants.. But yet.. I still do what you hate..

No sleep is not important to me.. and no work is not important to me.. Yes they seem to be important to me as my action prove them well enough and not what I said.. Every time you said something I will have something to say.. They all become an excuse... I'm really glad to have you as my dear.. You have been so understanding but yet I'm still so immature...

I had inflict too much pain in you already... Keep falling asleep when I don't.. Even though I've been tried many ways to keep myself to be awake.. Keep slapping my face.. Keep using hot water to wash my face.. Keep eating whatever I can find since to be the only way to keep myself awake... But eventually, all these doesn't count because it only happens during weekends and not weekday nights.. Which mean out of 7 days.. I might be doing it for only 1 night.. HAA! HOW PATHETIC I AM!

After work should be the quality time to spend with you.. I actually spent them on sleep! How Fuck up can I get?! Fear that you will get angry with me yet I always ended up sleeping.. KAO! Can't understand why I'm like this! It's not that I don't care about you nor our relationship.. I can say I don't understand myself.. Which I don't think this is important ba..

I don't understand why everyone is telling me that I'm accommodating to you too much.. I don't know why.. I'm just correcting my way of doing things in order not to do what you hate... Listen to what you say and slowly changing myself.. As for work.. Karoline is right.. I have to work hard so that I can support us.. For the rental.. For everything.. But she didn't know that you're also working hard to help me with the money ba.. She seems to hear more of our arguments ba..

It was you who used to be clinging to me.. It seems now I'm the one who is clinging on to you and causing you more pain than before... Somehow, the 3 words "I love you" have already become something you can ignore when I said that already.. Since when.. I've no idea.. Yeah man.. I've no idea to so many things.. All the things you said to me, all the question you asked me.. I can only say "I don't know".. "I don't know what to say"..

Everything you say are right.. Spot on.. Even though they might not be what I want.. But I still did it.. To do it.. Or not to do it.. It should all be in my mindset ba.. I really have nothing to say ler.. I'm the one at fault, so, do whatever you want.. One thing good about you is you're always so clear minded in things.. So firm with every decision you made and you always make it happen.. Regardless of what it is.. I'm glad that I didn't change you at all.. =) Glad that you're still the same old you..

If it will be better for you if I give it up.. I will do it then.. I will not waver your decision again so that I won't hurt you again in the future.. There's no more future already I presume.. Everyone you broke up with, there will be no contact or minimum contact that you'll make.. You will also try your very best to avoid them.. So.. That will be my case too ba? Tsk..

I love you dear.. I love you more than anything.. I really don't know what I can do... This is not the answer you want ba..

Hehe... I'm so bored.. So here I am blogging.. Today is sdo dc day... Haha.. We got dc and the server went bonkers.. Haha.. So many error message.. @_@

Today actually want to go back to just take passport and sit for awhile.. But in the end went out for dinner cause it's my Grandma birthday... @_@ The thing suppose to be at 430.. I went out about 4.. In the end, i'm early?!

Then the rest showed up.. People who knows I moved out keep asking why can't contact me and how to contact me since I told them my phone got cutted off... Then ask all those questions they asked before.. And my ans is still firm.. ^^

So in the end, I've got my passport.. Facial wash and additional 100 bucks.. -.- So now I can go malaysia with deardear ler~! YEAH!! ^^ After so long.. At last.. Hee ^^ Don't know what to post seh...

I miss my deardear so much.. Keep thinking what are you doing.. Is your mum bitching you again? Can't imagine what will my life be if you're no longer together with me.. I can't imagine that... I will do my best to please you de.. ^^ I love you dear.. I love you, Qing.. ^^

Muahaha... Reuben showed me this link.. Damn funny seh... I'm sharing it with you all.. Have a great laugh ba.. ^^

Had been having fever for the past 2 days.. Thanks dear for been by my side taking care of me.. Fever till 38.9 degrees seh... This is the first time I see so damn temperature in my life man... My fever came without any reason nor.. I don't have cough.. No running nose.. No sore throat..

The doctor even says this to me when I went over to him on Thurs.. "If tomorrow your fever is at 38.5 and above, you have to come back for blood test and urine test.." I was like WTH can? I was like did I have dengue or wat seh... =.= All I know is my body is aching all over noh.. I don't even eat much now noh..

Eat too much I already want to vomit.. =.= Don't know what's wrong with me.. Thurs I was practically sleeping and lying down everywhere I went na.. Slept for the whole day and the fever didn't subside till late night.. But Friday the fever was still there.. But it's not as high as compare to Thurs...

Sian man... My laptop cui already.. =.= Hdd crashed on me.. Graphic card also spoil.. =.= Stupid acer.. Sigh.. Don't know when can I get to change one new lappy.. @_@ Wait long long ba? LOL! I talking rubbish man.. =.= I'm not in the right mind now.. I'm missing my dear neh... She's back in JB already.. Waiting for her sis to finish that exam ba? No idea what time will she be home though.. Sigh.. But I wish her sis can do well.. XD

Maybe I'm just not worth for your love? To think that you've been tolerating all my nonsense.. All my empty promise to you.. To think I've been causing you to be angry over and over again..

"because you never take any of these things to heart"
"you NEVER did"
"if you ever did
you won't have done all these
you know what i hate
but you never did bother about them
you still went ahead to do them even though you know what i hate
probably in your mind you don't care or something"
"you din put your heart into doing anything other than your work"

These are the things you will say everytime.. Maybe I should let you be on your own ba.. Let you have your life back.. Back to before we met where you get to do whatever you like.. You were so happy back then before you really know me.. Why did I even ruin that happiness of yours in the first place?

Whatever what my actions are they don't appear in ur sight.. I've no idea why.. Eventually, only my mistakes appear.. I really don't know why.. I have already pushed you to your limits.. Maybe it's time.. Everyone has their limits...

The way I present my love is not the way you like it.. I had betrayed you.. Betray your trust.. You won't believe every single word I say.. I believe every single word you say.. I'm no longer alone because of you.. I'm no longer someone who noone cares...

Everyday see you in my room.. Suddenly you're not here.. The feeling is so weird.. I wish that you will never disappear in my life... I'm so afraid of losing you..

Can't stop thinking of you even when I'm at work.. Even though I might be busy at work.. I still think of you.. Didn't meant to piss you off but everytime I ended up causing you to get angry with things..

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm too "sticky" to you anot? Wonder whether have I been treating you good enough anot? Whether did I hurt you in anyway that I don't know? I really hope that you will tell me how you feel and let me know things..

I don't wish to keep things from you.. I know I can't share your troubles.. But I can definitely lend you my listening ear.. This is my 2nd relationship as you know... Sometimes I'm really at a loss at what I can do or what should I do... I don't know what to write ler..

Hehe.. Dear I love you.. Do your very best for your exams wor.. ^^ Though I can't be of any help to you.. Sometimes I wonder why am I so useless.. When you can advise me everytime I've problems/troubles.. Yet I can't be of any help to you..

老婆我爱你。

我做的事都会让你生气，伤心。是我不够贴心，不够关心才会导致这一切的。不知你为何生气，只是一直在向你道歉。 你朋友们都会说你不是搬出去一起住了吗？还会吵架？

承诺呢？好像一直被我抛弃了。说好要给你幸福的，幸福呢？你快乐吗？跟你在一起的每一秒，我都很快乐，很幸福。真希望我们能永远都这样子，配在彼此的身边永不分开。

或许我给你的感觉是不认真的吧？我可是很认真地对待我们俩的事。你所生气的每一件事我多看在心里。所说过的事，我都会听。我已经不知道我在你心目中是怎样的一个人了。是言而无信的她呢？还是你还在意还爱的那个她？

不论我在你心目中是哪一个，我还是爱你的。你永远都是我最爱的人。老婆我爱你。

Deardear.. I miss you very much.. I think i'm becoming more and more like a superglue to you ler.. Sometime I wonder whether I'm a burden to you.. Now I understand why you say you're a burden to me everytime you want to break up with me..

Deardear i really miss you very much.. Hope you can come back and be by my side as soon as possible..

Sometimes I really don't wish that you don't have to go home on weekends.. But I know you still have your family to care about.. Even though you say they are not important to you.. But I can see how much you care about them..

Even though they are furious about what you did.. Think about it.. If they don't care about you, why will they even bother to scold you? Not everyone is like me de dear.. Let you scold.. Let you vent your anger at.. After all the scolding, still can joke with you..

Seeing you have to rush here and there.. Really hurt me... You may think that whatever you do I don't care... Even though you say I'm always busy with work.. Work is more important than you.. Geneieve is someone I can click with or what people at work is people I can click with.. So I should have my lunch with them..

I can tell you this.. GENEIEVE IS SHIT TO ME! For goodness sake.. I don't know what gave you the thought we can click well.. She's so fake.. Thinking she's rich and everything.. I only talk to her because I have to.. Because of the work...

Enough of geneieve's crap.. I don't like to see or hear her name.. She's the stupid person that we everytime got argument when I don't even know why she's the argument subject.. I just want to be with you..

You're so much important to me... So much so I moved out.. Thinking that I should earn more, so that we can have our house in the future.. I want to be the one to support you to futher your passion in music..

I miss you so much.. I really don't know how life would be without you by my side.. I really hope your family won't force you to do things you don't like.. I just hope that you can still have your family when you're with me.. I really want you to be the most happy person in the world when you're with me..

老婆我真的很爱你。不想让你离开我。我真的好想让你幸福。

Been wondering whether I should let you suffer with me like this... Maybe I should just let you go so that you won't have to suffer so much with me... I would rather suffer alone than let you suffer so much with me..

Deardear I really love you so much.. I really don't want to see you suffer so much with me..

Happy Valentine Day and 5th anniversay dear..

Been thinking of you for the past 2 days when you're not with me... Even though I moved out.. There are still things that I've done that hurt you.. Be it unintentionally anot..

If you think that by keeping your thoughts so that they won't be used against you.. Then do what you deem.. I won't prompt anymore.. So long as you're happy.. I will always be here for you whenever you want to talk about them or you want to voice them out..

I know I lied to you regarding the trip down to VC on fri.. I won't denied that I did went down... I won't blame it on you that you're are piss about it or you will keep getting it out to set example for future.. It is my fault..

I still hopes that I can bring you happiness.. Hopes that you will be smiling everytime you sees me... Which I think will be a difficult task for me to reach ba? As I would still in the end upset you by my work.. Just hoping things will get better ba.. And not worse...

Dear.. I Love You very much..

I know you want to be with me together for yesterday night cause of this stupid festive which cause us not able to see each other for 3 bloody long days.. Which means I have to act "guai" at home in turns not to get beaten by my dad...

Tried to not wake up in the morning.. In the end got beaten to wake up to go with them.. Can't stay up much late de me.. Argh.. Why are we having arguments everytime we are separated? I can't be trusted by you cause I'm always listening to them when I'm home.. Doing what they ask everytime and not spending much time with you when I'm home...

Don't know what I can do to make you believe.. Why do I start to feel that I'm not the one for you... FUCK ALL THIS LAH! I just want to be with you all the time.. YET ALL THESE CRAPS COME HAUNTING ME AGAIN! Screw them!

Whenever I have problems, you're the one who's there for me.. Yet when you have problems, the person who's there for you are your friends and cousins.. For I can't help out much.. Moving out on 11 Feb.. I have already told them.. They are fine with it.. Whatever they want to do.. I don't give a damn anymore..

Sometimes I wonder how come I'm so good at keeping other people's problem and secrets yet I can't keep mine.. All I want is to share everything with you... Not having to keep things from you.. All I have ever done is to hurt you even more... I really would like to know when was the time I really makes u happy...

I think my death will be the best to put all these to an end.. For everyone will not have to think of me that much already.. I know you want to spend time with me.. I'm THE ONE WHO GIVES EMPTY PROMISES, a LIAR! ME! I'm the ONE! Noone will ever believe what I say anymore... NOONE!

I really don't know what to do already. Everything I does seems to be wrong. All I've done is to make you more hurt. I know you don't like to rush yet I keep demanding you to do things you don't like to do. My work and my tiredness has always been a problem to our relationship.

If I know you would be in such agony now, I should have let you go the last time. If I know I would treat you so unwell. Didn't except myself to do that but I already did. Hurt you so much yet I don't know what I can do to redeem myself. "我不要烦你了" this line has a very strong impact on me. It's has though you are saying that you wanna break up with me already.

Every night we will end up quarreling on phone and hope that tomorrow I won't sleep on you again But yet I DID! Can't tolerate myself for doing this to you everyday yet I can't do anything to keep myself awake. I'm really am a useless person. If anyone read this blog, I think that they will think I'm not qualified to be in love ba? I think it's true ba.

Everyday you only see me for the most max 4 hours.. Yet when you want to talk to me on phone I fell asleep on you.. I understand how you feels thus whenever you fell asleep I do nothing cause I want to know how it feels to you when I did that.. When I know I can't help to blame myself for being useless..

I love you more than anything else. But because of my workload, it causes you more agony.. I think i will have to change job ba.. If I really becomes a Perm.. I will be loaded with more responsibilites.. By then, I think you will be more angry with me or hates me even more than now ba?

Deardear you're my everything now.. Even now at home, my house has already become a place where I just come home to sleep and nobody cares for me except you..

Can't wait to move out and stay with you. ^^ I'm glad to have you. Thanks for staying by my side dear. Thanks for giving me all the support. I'm sorry that I've caused you so much pain and torture you so much.

Just hope that I can treat you much better when we move out. ^^ I love you very much dear.

Happy 4th month anniversary dear.. ^^

I don't know what to say.. But just hope I can get my passport and then move out of the house. I don't wish to see you in tears anymore. Everytime I see you in tears I really don't know what to do..

What should I do to stop the tears from falling down your face?

All of it my fault

All of these nonsense that I've put you through is all my fault thus, don't you blame yourself for them. It's not that I'm always annoyed with you. Is just that everytime you blame yourself for whatever that's my fault, I feel angry with myself for having to cause you all these troubles..

I really don't know what I've to do to make you happy. Everytime you're angry/sad about my stuff, I really am at a loss. >.< Sigh. I will have to go and get busy first. Today Vinda's not in. Just hope dear won't get annoyed with all these matters.

T_T I miss dear so much ar... T_T I can't wait for you to come back.. I want to be with you.. -tear- I miss you so much.. I want you~

I don't want you to go to Hong Kong tomorrow.. I want you to be with me.. Just now had a chat with my mum.. Kind of settle the thing with her.. She asked lots of questions..

Well.. Sort of went well I think.. But this is the best I can do so far.. I will still try for the chalet.. Cause if they don't allow.. I will most probably tell them I don't want to hold chalet when mine comes.. See what can they do..

Can't stand them anymore.. How I wish I can move out.. But I don't want my grandma to worry.. Since young, she's the only one who dote my sis and I the most.. We won't want to hurt her.. Well.. Actually I did.. =X Haha..

Like what my mum say.. I actually want to be with you than cares about her feelings.. Ya I do.. Cause they are not the one who can give me happiness.. Argh.. Don't talk about them.. Just make my blood boils..

Deardear.. I know you don't really like me to "sort of burden" myself.. But.. To me.. What I'm doing is our future.. If you really don't want me to do it.. Then I don't do it noh...

Deardear must take care of yourself okay? I know it's hard to enjoy yourself with your mum there.. But try to ba.. I love you and I miss you lots deardear.. I will still message you when I'm up and out to work.. Will let you know when I'm home.. I love you dear.. Can't bear to let you go...

I love you my dear.. 我爱你! ^^

Every night stayed up to accompany you but in the end I fell asleep.. What sort of accompany is this? I know that.. And I'm really sorry about it... Every night the same thing happen.. I really don't know what to do.. Everytime you get angry and cry.. I'm lost and the only thing I could do is apologise...

You say you don't want my apology.. You don't tell me what you want I don't know what to do.. Haiz.. Everything is not an illusion my dear... Even if you want it to be an illusion I will not...

This whole week can say I was with dear everyday except today... Dear is having a concert next sunday.. Which I can't attend... Hope everything goes well.. I want to be able to attend dear's performance.. But I can't... -Sigh-

I really don't know why.. Okay well.. It is my fault that I should go and sleep instead of accompany you when I still fell asleep... The only time I can pei you when you're online is in game and msn? How I wish you don't have to go back home... But well, you still have your piano lessons to attend...

Another 14 days it's gonna be our 3rd month together... This time round we can't celebrate cause it will on a sunday... -sigh- And it's gonna be a day before your school term starts.. Gonna see less and less of dear already I think... Lesson from 8 to 6?

I miss you very much dear.. I love you more than anything.. I want you to be with me all the time.. It hurts me more than anything to see you get piss and trying to hurt yourself... You're my everything already.. I love you dear..

Well well.. Didn't post much this week.. =X Hmm... This week really didn't manage to pei dear much seh... Cause dear have to study etc plus my parents not at home.. Stupid de... -Sigh-
I made dear cried like don't know how many times already seh.. I want to make her happy every day but... -Sigh-

Was so damn tired this week seh.. Everytime when I lie on my bed within 10mins I will knock out already.. Don't know what happen... -Sigh- Dear cried on wed.. One thing is cause of me.. Another thing is cause of xdo which she can't play for almost this whole week.. Plus there's always somethings that people screwed up that needs her to resolve... -Sigh-

Next week dear will have paper on monday, tuesday, thursday and saturday.. So I'm gonna go over to her place after work the whole of next week.. ^^ Lalalaa~ Guys stop imagine things already... -.- Especially Haseo and Cookie.. =P Maybe I will bring my laptop over ba? Haha.. Lalalaa~ -Sing- See how ba...

I just wanna be with you all the time, never to part but I can't... I'm such a useless person... Can't make you smile when you're moody or sad for just a sec... Can't wipe your tears when you crying... I wanna hold you in my arms all the time.. Wanna give you warm when you're cold... Don't know what I can do for you to make you happy.. All I can say is I love you very much dear.. I will never let go off your hand~ Muacks~

-Sigh- My mum is going to follow my dad to genting this week.. Cause my stupid bro is going.. Imagine my dad goes to genting and goes gambling with his colleague... Then my bro will be left alone... Zzz..

I've to take care of the house during these days then.. =( Which means I will have less time to meet up with dear... =( -Sigh- I don't want~ Argh.. At the thought of washing the mountains of clothes... T_T Wed I can afford to be home late cause sis will be home.. But thurs and fri she will be home late... T_T Plus Tues I have to come home early cause of that stupid flash! ARGH! I'm PISSED!

I want my deardear na~ =( Argh! Dear will be here for the whole week yet I can't be with her for the whole week?! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............. IRRIATING SEH! Haiz.. I go out ler lah.. Post later..

2nd month anniversary

Hehe.. Yesterday was our 2nd month anniversary... Went over to her place in the morning... Went out for lunch around 1pm.. Then had Sakae Teppanyaki.. @_@ First time try.. Haha.. Dear got so hook up by the chef that she say she want to try cooking the garlic rice? LOL! Kawaii deardear -hug-

After lunch, we went for movie.. LOL! Watched the Coffin.. 2 scary cat watching horror movie.. HAHA! =X Then never mind... During the movie, dear was frighten by her phone cause... Just when the scary part is coming.. Tiff smsed her... =.=| HAHA! U imagine you watching horror movie then suddenly your hp is vibrating in ur pants? =X

Then went to EMax.. At 1st want to watch another show de.. But since no room then we got the 2 pc room.. Wanted to try out playing from thumbdrive but can't.. Haiz.. In the end, spamming forum and msn? LOL! After that went for dinner.. XD

Then went to Esprit.. Tried out some clothes... Then send dear home? Hehe.. Bought a couple watch.. XD Though knowing dear don't like to wear watch.. (>.<) Hehe..

Hope dear you enjoy yesterday.. Happy 2nd month anniversary.. XD I love you dear.. ^^

I miss you badly dear... I want to be with you.. Sometimes I really hope that if you don't have to go back to JB. (>.<) Can't wait for friday to come... Don't know where should we go neh... (>.<) I'm a very lousy planner man.. =X

Lately been sneezing like nobody business.. And today had a terrible headache.. And because of that I have to take a few hours off early... =.=| Then walked in the rain seh... Pray won't be down with illness.. But doubt so...

Don't know why recently am so sleepy seh... Once on bed almost instant knock out noh... @_@ Just now played Cabal @ Lan shop... Haha! So long never play already seh.. (>.<) Not bad seh.. I still can remember all the shortcut keys.. HAHA!

LOL! I don't know what to post seh... (>.<) THink will stop here ba... HAHA!
I miss you dear... Can't wait to see you tomorrow! Tomorrow faster come~ I love you dear~

Wee.. I've been eating dear's homemade obento.. XD Yesterday lunch was fried rice.. =D Today lunch was pasta.. =D Wee.. Both of them are great.. And I CLEARED them all... Hehe... ^^ But everytime is I eat alone... Then dear watch me eat... (>.<)

She went back home today after accompanying me for lunch... =( Then since she reached home jiu play xdo till now? -sigh- And I only managed to accompany her for like about 1 and a half hour? Have to off cause of my damn dad who came home.. Irritating idiot...

Everytime I have to leave, you will show me a sad face but yet you can't stop me from leaving... I don't know what I can do to stop hurting you cause of my dad/family members... I just hope you won't get strain because of this...

I also don't want you to get tired because you have to cook for me.. If you don't know what to cook, can don't cook/just cook what you know can ler.. I don't mind de.. So long as it's done by you, I will finish them up... -muacks- I don't know lah.. I seriously feels that you already are strained...

I don't know what I can do for you... I'm really am a BAKA.. I'm not good with words... Don't know what should I say when you say something to me... Don't know what to do... And I'm so afraid you might tear again... I just wanna hold on tight to you... But I'm afraid too tight you might run away from me... -lost-

Everytime you say "anything lor", it makes me sad.. Because I know what you mean and what you want... Yet I can't do anything about it... And if I'm tired and I still force myself, you'll confirm be pissed with me for sure... Yet I can't bear to leave you...

Everytime you say "I don't know what I can do", it makes my heart ache... I love you so much dear... I worries for you just like you worries for me... Whenever you say that, my heart really ache... It's just like when you cry, I can't be there to wipe off your tears for you and hug you tightly in my arms...

Well.. I don't know what else can I say already.. I just to let you know that I really miss you and I really really love you alot dear... I can't wait till thurs to see you...

37 more hours to go....

I can't wait for 1230 to reach.. For that's the time I get to see you for an hour before I get to see you @ 530pm... (>.<) Been missing you like crazy... Can't imagine life without you... Think I'll go bonkers... Hehe^^

Later will be going to some singing showcase with dear.. ^^ At first I thought Kenken is going to sing.. But in the end she told me she's going to watch too.. LOL! =X Well, at least we get to see each other again after Justin's birthday which is last month? @_@ Haha!

Wee... I'm broke ler~ XD Lalalaa... Dear's gonna make food for me.. Wee... =X More pasta~ ^^ Yesterday dear ask whether I want tomato or cream in game.. Haha.. And that stupid baka Haseo say he want... HAHA! He's NOT Gonna HAVE IT! Muahaha! Cause I'm gonna finished everything just like the last time! ^^

Wee.. My dear's mood swing period is over~ XD If not, I don't know what I will do.. Get emo? Cause she mood swing will be very scary.. -trembles- Hehe^^ Joking na dear.. Hehe ^^ Think she's gonna kill me ler lah... Haha! Talking all these rubbish.. =P

Yesterday night was on phone with her till she fell asleep.. Cause she had nightmares on the previous night.. Hope she didn't have them yesterday... -pray hards- In the end slept about 230am? Hehe.. =D But well, if dear slept well.. Everything is alright.. ^^

Time for me to go back to work.. Boss is here ler.. =X I love you dear.. Can't wait to see you later.. =D -muacks-

I know we couldn't spend much time together... Didn't know you're that lost when I'm offline.. For now I could only apologise for not being there when you feel lonely... Now then I know I'm so dumb...

At first was wondering why are you not talking to me when you called... I'm so dumb not to realise it sooner... You crying at one corner which I couldn't reach you is killing me... How I wish I could fly over to hug you, and tell you I'm here by your side already... But I couldn't....

Everytime there's a silence, I'm thinking are you crying again? And now I know why.. You've been suffering so badly everytime I went to bed or offline... Why didn't I notice? Think I'm too dumb already.. Thus, didn't notice ba?

And now I've promise you I will keep you company till 12am.. And you're saying I'm forcing myself... Shagua ar... I'm not na... I would rather get scolding than hearing you cry over the phone which I can't do anything... Do you know how helpless I was just now? How much I wanted to cry but nothing comes out till we hung up on phone?

I'm such a idiot.. I'm really BAKA seh...

Hehe... Yesterday was out the whole day with dear.. XD Went to watch 20th century boys... =X Not bad lah.. But.. GOT PART 2!!! WTF... =X Just like Eragon... Zzzz.. After that went for lunch at Secret Recipe.. XD

Then walked from Dhoby Ghaut to Cineleisure with dear.. XD Went to E2max chamber to watch "snakes on the plane".. =X Didn't know dear scared of snakes... =X Gomen neh dear.. (>.<) After that walked to Ngee Ann City... Had dinner there..

I also made dear cried... =( Heartache like siao when I see her tears dropped down... ='( I just want to make you happy.. Your smile makes everything worth it.. XD Dear you don't have to do anything much for me.. Just stay happy, healthy and be you that's all I want.. XD

I'm not good with words... Thus, I can't think of so much nice things to say.. But I know I love you.. Nothing beats when you're smiling to me, hugging me tightly and call me shagua in my ears... So long as you're happy, I'm happy.. =D

Want you to be by my side all the time... =X I don't know how I will survive your long holidays... I'll be walking zombie? =X I want to hug you.. Know where you are.. What you're doing... Eating well? Sleeping early? I sound like a sicko man.. Haha! =P

I love you dear.. Can't wait for Friday to come.. ^^ And next week too... Get to eat ur homemade "obento" for almost whole week neh... ^^

Can't sleep after the phone hang up abruptly... Suddenly got a bad feeling... It feels like you're going to leave me... I don't know why.. But suddenly got this feeling... Am I imagine things? Or?

My grandma and mum are getting more and more irritating... Everytime I come home they will ask who I go out with? Damn irritating can... Argh... Can't wait till I can move out man... It's so damn IRRITATING TO STAY AT HOME!

Can't use my com as and when I like... Can't do this, can't do that... Everything also restrict me... 20 already neh.. You all also know how to say I'm 20 need to do this and that, need to set example etc... Only think of what other think... WHAT ABOUT ME?! Have you all cared about what I feel? Argh...

Feel like crying man... Always have to act strong, act mature at home is very tiring... Everything also listen to you all already.. What else do you all want from me? FUCK man... I don't know lah.. I JUST FEEL LIKE MOVING OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!

Was out the whole day with dear~ ^^ At 1st say want go Sentosa play water de... =.=| In the end, went to watch movie.. "The housebunny"

Then we went to the arcade.. Lalalaa~ We also went to engrave our ring ler.. XD Played till both also hand and leg become "jelly" liao.. HAHA! =X Then sent dear back to her aunt house cause dear suppose to be going back in the evening...

Then went we're about to part... Her aunt came back! -faint- Then was invited in... =.=| Then ate dinner with them.. (>.<) So nan de can be together for whole day lah.. XD

Hehe.. I can't wait to be with dear again... Even though almost every weekday meet up for lunch.. But 1 hour is not enough!!! (>.<) I want to be with her all the time na~ Hmm... Time for me to go bed ler.. Need to chiong work again tomorrow.. XD Closing soon ler.. End of month coming... =.=| Time flies man.. Haha!

Okay ba.. I go ler.. XD Dear I love you~ And miss you lots.. -hugs-

Today is our 1st month anniversary... Though today can't celebrate but it's alright.. XD Never been so happy in my life.. You have brighten up my life dear.. XD

I'm sorry that I always make you worry for me.. ^^ Can't wait for our 1st christmas and new year together.. XD Always think of you till want to die.. Can't stop thinking of you every now and then... Thinking what are you doing? Eaten? Everything's alright?

I want to keep you by myside, don't let you go.. Want to make you happy all the times.. ^^ Sometimes wants to make you angry~ XD Cause you look very adorable when you're pissed with me~ (>.<)

1st month anniversary... Didn't get you anything much... (>.<) Just 3 stalk of rose... (>.<) Shall get you 99 so you can't hide them~ ^^ Lalalalaa~ I can't wait to see you on thursday again... Tomorrow shall bury myself with work...

Happy 1st month anniversary dear~ I love you 1314~ Muacks~

Been coughing like hell these days seh.. (>.<) Think probably I will take a few hours off early to see doctor ba? (>.<) If not I will die.. Haha! No I won't.. I want to but I can't? LOL!

Can't wait to see dear later la... Miss her like crazy lor... (>.<) Everytime webcam only she see me... =X Hehe.. And by the time.. I'm already sleepy.. So she see my sleeping face? LOL! =X

Hmm.. I think I will post later ba.. Cause I want to clear my stuff by today~ Post again later~ ^^

Yesterday went out with dear after work... It is rare for us to go our together on Monday night de lor.. Hehe... Cause her aunt is oversea.. Then she and her cousins want to create havoc? Haha... Joking...

Don't know where to go out together lah.. (>.<) Cause so long as we are together can liao.. Hehe.. Right dear? ^^ Hmm... Recently, went out with dear, I ended up taking cab home seh... Cause bu she de to leave each other... Yesterday that cab fare even worst! @_@ $11.10 -faints- I'm not use to merz cab lah.. So low can? Hehe.. We have been going to Dhoby Ghaut arcade and play the basketball lah... @_@ Haha... Can become their regular customer liao? LOL! Joking~ Lalalaa~

Recently, alot of things happened in dear's family.. @_@ Just hope the bad things will go off sooner ya? Then everything is alright already.. ^^ Dear is not going for holiday with her aunt already.. Yeah~ But don't know whether she can come out anot leh.. Cause I confirm cannot go in liao... Cause passport kena confiscate.. (>.<) -sigh-

My pay friday then come in lah.. So sad... My carrefour pay is dead already lor... (>.<) Don't know where it fly to... -faint- I'm lazy to call them and ask leh... Hmm... Think I stop here ler... Haha! My table is flooded with invoices already... Update again.. Chaoz~

JANUARY BABY

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.Stubborn.

FEBRUARY BABY

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone.Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it.Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.S! pendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH BABY

Attractive personality. S#xy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

APRIL BABY

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around.Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. hot but has brains.

MAY BABY

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed andhighly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex.Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.Hardworking. High spirited.

JUNE BABY

You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

JULY BABY

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.Easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be with friends ... Always ! brood about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST BABY

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. Self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an 'every thing's peachy' attitude. likes talking and singing.loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of 'that someone'. longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by 'no pain no gain' caring.always a suspect. playful. mysterious. 'charming' or 'beautiful' to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

SEPTEMBER BABY

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.Strong mentality.. Loves attention. Diplomatic.Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

OCTOBER BABY

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily.. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

NOVEMBER BABY

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

DECEMBER BABY

This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions.Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly.. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music.

Yesterday went into JB with my dear.. XD And I'm so broke lah.. LOL! Then dear practically become my "ATM"... (>.<) Sorry dear... =( Though I don't like her to pay for me... (>.<)

We were waiting for her parents to arrive at City Square... Hmm... We walked don't know how many rounds... Then went to arcade.. =.= I'm not good with arcade games already lah... LOL! Went to dear house around.. Hmm... 1+pm? No idea.. Lost track ler... Haha!

Was tempted to buy shoes from that side.. LOL! But no money~ Lalalaa~ XD Heck... Tried to help dear to set up the china sdo.. (>.<) But don't know why they can't download the server list... Will help to check that out... Haha! Then changed her com language setting to chinese... She's gonna die liao right dear? LOL!

Left her house around 630 - 645pm... Then I reached home around 815-820pm like that lor... (>.<) Haha! Then my phone at last went out of batt when I'm on bus back home lah... Then make dear worried... Cause I never replied her and answer her calls.. Gomen dear...

Yesterday after chatting with dear... I knock out already lah... Aching all over.. Don't know why... Haha! (>.<) Hmm... Think I go do my work ler... Later my colleague say me... WAHAHA! See ya~